Once upon a Sunday
by Nameless killer
Summary: A cycle of painful nostalgia. AU-ish. Implied SS


**Standard disclaimer applied. **

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><p><strong>Once upon a Sunday<strong>

_They said that you only know that you love him after you lose him._

**2 years. 2 months and 8 days.**

During those times I've felt such unimaginable joy. Cliched as it may sound but I knew that what we had was real and I am really thankful for that.

When you're in love with someone, you feel a strange connection with that person. Even as a doctor, I couldn't explain how it happened but I just felt that something's wrong with our relationship. We never really fought seriously because neither of us wanted confrontations. We hated those kind of fights. Sometimes I wondered that it may be the reason why you suddenly changed, why you felt the need to look onto the other side of the coin. Sometimes I wonder if things could've been different if we fought. If I told you all the insecurities , all the fears, all the nightmares that I had regarding us.

But I realized those things too late.

The moment I decided to act upon all of those wretched thoughts was the moment you decided to act upon yours.

It happened on a Saturday night. We were on the verge of having a date on a Sunday but you suddenly had a change of plans. I couldn't contain the hurtful thoughts- of you finding someone else; So I decided to call you.

It hurts to know that I just knew you so well. The moment that I heard your hello, was the moment that I knew my worst fear is coming. What hurts even more was the fact that I was the one who brought it to myself. I always knew that you're not good with words. So when you said that you had something important to say to me, I knew that we already reached the end. It still hurts to hear you choke on your own words though.

_"What is it?"_

_"..."_

_"Will that make me cry?"_

_"..."_

_"Will that hurt me?"_

_"..."_

_"Last question. Are you going to break up with me?"_

Funny how I had the guts to ask the question that I dreaded the most. You never answered those questions, but I knew the answers from your silence. You wanted to hang-up and still meet me on a Sunday, to talk things through. You wanted a night to pass, you wanted me to sleep through a fact that you're going to break up with me the moment that I wake up.

How would I sleep through that fact? How would I sleep through a nightmare in reality?

So I asked you to meet me immediately.

I vividly remembered wearing jacket similar to yours. Hoping that somehow, you'll change your mind and just say that it's the first and the last prank that you'll pull on me. But I could only hope.

I knew that it was inevitable. They said that all good things must come to an end and it was the saying that I hated the most.

Our break-up was not like the kind on drama series. We ended the relationship in good terms. And unlike in dramas, there were no backhanding, no bitch-slapping, no violent reactions and no exaggerated sob of nothingness and despair. We ended everything with a laugh and a hug.

It was the most painful hug. Not the bone-crushing bear hug, but the kind of embrace that would forever remind you that you lost the one you love. It was a reminder that things would never be the same for that person. It was a goodbye hug.

I love you.

And I just wish that I could lie to everyone and say that seeing your face doesn't hurt me anymore.

When I see your face in the pictures, I remember everything.

The laughter. The tears. The jokes. The break up.

And becomes a cycle of painful nostalgia.

I remember the way your hands fit mine. I remember how warm it was, how I loved that warmth. I remember you telling me that my hands are too cold. I remember how you would nuzzle into my neck and just breathe. I always loved the small and silent gestures that you do to me.

I remember how you would cuddle while I read my textbooks.

I remember the way you would tap my incredibly large forehead and the way your lips would smile afterwards. It was your promise of many things. It's strangely the thing that I would miss the most.

I remember your crying face. That heart wrenching sob that made me feel that I was loved.

I was loved.

And it made me feel so happy and yet so sad.

And I'm so sorry that you had to pretend for me.

I wish you happiness.

I wish you all the best.

I truly wish that you'll be able to find a girl that could make you the happiest man in the world.

And I wish that I could see your face after that. Just so that I could convince myself that I really did make you happy at some point of your life. I knew that it would hurt twice as much as it would make me happy. But for the short years that I became your happiness, and you became mine; I guess it's fair to say that the tears and the heartbreak were the equivalent price for that.

And I'm sorry that you were forced to end it this way.

Thank you, Sasuke-kun.

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><p>AN: I don't really know what to feel right now.


End file.
